When you grow up.....

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Surely everyone thinks of what they want to be when they grow up! Right?? I wanted to be so many things and i still don't know if I'm doing what i want to for the rest of my life.

I love doing so many things that I'm not sure what would be the sure thing i want to do. My hubby on the other hand he only had 1 other thing that i know of that he wanted to do when he grew up. He wanted to Coach High School Football and Teach History, but he ended up being a career Firefighter. Go figure!

For instance i can remember wanting to just be a Mommy when i was little, then i wanted to be a Lawyer (that ended when i got a speeding ticket and had to go to court....it wasn't for me. I would be in contempt ALL the time!), then i said a Doctor!! woo hoo i wanted to make the big bucks but not study to do it, then it was the Marine Biologist (news flash if you didn't already know..you have to work near water, preferably know how to swim, and oh yeah the important part SHARKS LIKE HUMANS!! and they will eat you!, then it was a Nurse (didn't have the math grade), then it was Accounting (still the math issue), back to Marine Biology, Nursing,Professional Student!! I ended up getting my AAS in Medical Assisting Technology. Basically i could do mainly the same thing as a Nurse without the pay and without the math!

I joined a Vol. Fire Department while i was in college and was Certified in Firefighting, and eventually i got my Certificate in Emergency Medical Technology.

I'm not happy with where i am no mainly because the pay stinks, i have the work load of 2 people (sometimes i think 3), some of the people i enjoy (Rachie, Amy, and Cass) but for the most part i don't enjoy being around the others i work with.

I love Photography, and arranging flowers, and writing. Sometimes i think i could do that every single day but then i think ya know what if i didn't make any money? It would be awesome if i could open a little shop and make flower arrangements, do some freelance photography, and have all the time in the world to write short stories.

I'm gonna investigate the Photography thing. I have some awesome friends that are gonna let me take some pics of their families for Christmas Cards, and a friend that is gonna let me do some maternity pics for her. I'm gonna call some places and see if i need a special license or how to start a business if people like my work.

Ill keep you all posted on how it goes.

love Chole

Worry or Trust

I was reading a Blog i usually read about everyday and in it the girl mentioned thanks to her mom for the comment she had made on a previous Blog entry. I never look at peoples comments but i just felt the urge to this time.

It said.............."Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6....her mom had then wrote " i get so busy worrying about whatever it is, i forget to sit and pray and be quiet about it. If I'm not quiet, i don't hear/feel the answer to the prayer. Sometimes the answer is not what you want, but usually in the long run, it is what you need. If you are a child of God, he will take care of you.""

I have had so many things just not right in my life here lately. Between my Mother and Father not speaking to me, stress at work, loneliness, issues with friends, and just feeling worthless. I have been a total mess, and its sad that i know that.

I went with my Mother in law and several other ladies from the church to Gulf Shores, Al this weekend to shop and just relax. My Momma Lola did the devotional on Friday night. In her lesson i just felt like it was geared toward me. It's amazing how some people can come up with a lesson from God's word and it steps all over you. She talked about standing still or following God's command. So many times i sit still and i don't even listen to follow a command, or i think i know what would be best and i make a decision and it's not what He has planned for me to do. I tell myself over and over and over so many times that I'm going to pray about the things that i have or need or problems or guidance, but i don't do it, or i do it once and expect the answer and then i don't hear it so i move on what i think is the right response.

I want so badly to be able to make sense of all the things going through my head and i just cant by myself, or with my friends. I need His help. That mom that wrote that scripture on her daughters Blog has the answer. I don't lay everything at the foot of the cross like i should. I have to be quiet and listen to hear His answer, but i also have to pray to Him for guidance and knowledge and wisdom and strength. I need to ask him for the answers to my problems and for the things i need. I just have to put that one foot in front of the other and make that step.

Sometimes we think its hard to talk to God, or if we talk to Him nothing we say will be heard or things we ask for wont be answered but so many times i think he does help, guide, answer and we just aren't quiet enough to hear what He is telling us to do.

I have this one friend who i desperately want to receive Christ and she made a small step but hasn't blinked an eye about it since then. In a way it discourages me because i sit and think "ya know I'm trying so hard to do something good, I'm trying to save her and her children but she just doesn't want to help herself." I don't know what to do anymore with her and people tell me don't give up on her, but i feel i waste my breathe with her cause she isn't gonna change her ways.

I'm going to pray for the strength, knowledge, wisdom, and courage to speak to God about my problems, to ask for help, to ask for things i want, to pray for forgiveness, strength, and help in my life everyday.

love Chole

God does have a sense of humor!

My mother in law is my rock. Without her i would be lost. She is such a joy in my life. Sometimes i wonder why God would bless me with such a wonderful husband and the wonderful family of his after all the things i did wrong growing up and all the bad choices i made, but then i think how could he not. He is such a loving God, and he shows it to us each and every day in so many ways that we don't even realize.

Well let me just say if you have a dull life ladies you aren't in the right family!! Us Webb's we never have a dull moment...nope never we have always got something we are laughing about and we laugh so that we don't cry! Kinda like the book "If God is in control why do i have a headache!!"

My momma Lola and i always have a blast no matter what we are doing. It could be something as simple as just hanging out at Fred's while Grandma and Aunt Rosie are in church. I know what you are all thinking no we are not skipping church OK Grandma and Aunt Rosie are Catholic and they go to Saturday afternoon mass..so we aren't skipping to shop!

Well those of you who don't know me very well after i write some of these blogs you will have a good picture!! My favorite word is butt!! I know i know BAD BAD word and i shouldn't say it, well my husband Scott's favorite word is blessed!! yeah and those 2 words combined aren't a very nice phrase let me add. So my momma Lola says she is going to one day (Lord willing!!) have a grandchild 2 years old running around saying "blessed butt" ooooppppsss...

I told momma Lola one day i said "ya know God sure does have a sense of humor putting me in your life huh??" I know she just wanted to bust out laughing and maybe she did i don't really remember all i ever remember is the belly shacking laughin till you hurt stuff..... kinda like mine and Rachie's first road trip last year and the See-Saw incident!!! if you haven't read that one read it but make sure you go potty first and have tissue to wipe away the tears you will laugh so hard you'll cry!!

I have some friends that say they would love to be a fly on the wall sometimes and just ride around on my shoulder.....i guess i lead a pretty interesting life!! My husband would tell you it's because I'm married to him!! HA HA i just humor him!

Grandma and Aunt Rosie stayed with Scott and I last May while momma Lola and James went to Arkansas for their anniversary....OMG was that interesting! You would have loved it. Lets just stop and get this picture....... k you have Aunt Rosie 94 but tells everyone she is 92 and don't correct her cause she will tell you i am not 94 i was born in 1913 and we are like OK Aunt Rosie 1913 from 2007 is 94 you will be 95 next year! Oh no don't do it, it doesnt go over well....then you have Grandma she just turned 88... well they are both full - 100% Italian!! Yep they are Italian.....yes ladies eat it up i am married to a man who is a whole 25% Italian...don't get me wrong he might only be 25% but oh is he hot....dark, tall, handsome......OK back to the story everyone wipe the drool from your lip he is TAKEN!!! anyways......so we babysat while they were gone and Gma and Aunt Rosie had all the meals planned Scott was so excited we were gonna have Froshee's (poor man supper they call it) and one night we were gonna have stuffed Artichokes ummmmm so good but a lot of work to only get to eat one part!! Well lets just say neither one remembered just how to make anything we made that weekend and then the fought because one was telling the other she was wrong but she didn't know either!! yeah....sense of humor remember!

Gma and Aunt Rosie had to go to Church on Saturday and my Rachie came over to ride with me to take them to church. Rachie loves hanging out with them and hearing the stories over and over. Rachie ask Aunt Rosie if she ever wanted to have babies i think is how she out it cause Aunt Rosie never married, and Aunt Rosie told her NO she wasn't no floosie she wasn't married!! Rachie was like OK I'm a floosie i have 2 kids and I'm not married!! HAHA you would have to just be there! Then we got going down the road and i said something about Gulla (my favorite word in Italian butt!!) and Rachie was like what is that? I told her what it meant and that it was Italian and she wanted to learn more! I love learning new words from them.... so i told her Fatcha de Renalli (means your face looks like a toilet) and Testa Duda (hard head) Aunt Rosie just cringes when i tell people that stuff cause she says one day I'm gonna tell somebody that and they are gonna know what it means and get me!

Or the time momma Lola and me went to Foley for her bday it was August 2006...we stopped at a gift shop on the beach and i saw these coconut's ya know the ones you wear on your boobie's...well mine are rather large and i said "huh these say one size fits all, and i held them up and it was one size fits MOST not all....this guy walked by and i was like is this one size fits most or all???" He just dies laughin and momma Lola wanted to die!! Never dull I'm tellin ya!!I did buy those coconuts and momma Lola bought her a pair too......Scott wanted to croak when i told him.....the next year i tried to sell them in a garage sale Scott wanted to die then too!

Needless to say we always have so much fun....and there is more fun to come momma Lola and i are going to Foley, Al with some ladies from the church next weekend......Oh I'm so excited!!!

Well I'll save some for later..........keep watchin for my Blog The 5 of US: 2 walkers, 2 wheelchairs and a Cadillac!!!!!!!!!!! Its a belly giggler!!
Love ya Chole

A Fireman's Wife

Scott and i have been together going on 7 years this coming June and we have been married 3 of those in June. When Scott and i started dating i was a Volunteer Firefighter with Florence Vol. FD and Scott was a Volunteer Firefighter with Monterey Vol. FD. We met while i was going thru the Fire Academy. I had class with his best friend Josh and he told me he had me a good guy. We finally broke down one night and called his house around 8pm one night after class and Scott's mom Lola answered and said he was asleep! Ha i knew at that moment this would be exciting!! We ended up meeting and talking and one night he said "your my girlfriend right?" and we have been together thru ups and downs ever since! What a whirlwind romance huh? Well i loved Scott with all my heart (and i still do I'm just telling about then OK!) he worked for the Street Department for the big City of Richland. Scott had always wanted to Teach and Coach and that just didn't seem to work out that way. Scott had been on the Vol. FD for quite a while and he loved it..he could pass on the gross gory stuff and the birthing of babies in the back seat of cars, but he had such a strong passion to fight a house fire and extricate people from car wrecks, or just a small grass fire. Scott heard of a opening with the Fire Department in Richland and he applied and low and behold he got the job! He was so excited and he still is. The way he feels about his job is the way everyone wishes to feel. He loves going to work. Don't get me wrong there are the ups and downs of it but for the actual work part he loves it.

The picture above is from Scott's 1001 graduation from the Ms State Fire Academy. I cant remember the date, but i do remember it being one of the happiest days of his life. I was so proud of him watching him walk across that stage. Don't get me wrong it was a hard time while he was in the class but for the most part it was wonderful.

Well just to let everyone out there who is wondering know.......yes firemen are HOT or at least my husband is cause i have seen some ummmm not so great looking ones, but who's looking anyways i didn't Rachie told me ya know! All seriousness though it is a challenge being married to a Fireman. The worst part is the loneliness...its hard being alone the majority of the time. Even though they only work about 10 days a month it feels like so much more. Scott works 1 on 2 off and it is a 24 hour shift so like today he went in at 7am he doesn't come home till 7am tomorrow! It is nice because they get to sleep, eat, shower, watch TV, play video games, go to Wal-Mart, read the paper, play on the Internet, talk to each other, they can have visitors, and they go places like to ball games on Friday nights or to AARP meetings on Monday nights to take BP's for the old people, and stuff like that.

When we got married i realized how lonely it was some nights by myself, granted i had lived in my house for like almost 2 years probably before we got married but then i would come home from work and go straight to my room shut and lock the door and i didn't come out until morning when i had to get ready for work. Scott and i had talked about maybe getting a dog and i was shopping at Wal-Mart one day and this little, sweet, old man was selling Rat Terriers. I drove over and was looking at them and started to tell the little old sweet man my story i was married he was a fireman i was lonely blah blah blah...well lets just say the sweet little old man saw either stupid, gullible, or moron or something was written all across my forehead cause he fed my the longest line of bull EVER!!! He said oh they are wonderful with children, they are easy to house train, they love their masters, they cuddle, they are lap dogs, they aren't hyper, they are so calm, and sweet and loving, and light tempered, and blah blah blah....well needless to say i went straight over to the bank drew out the money and came right back picked my Innocent, sweet, calm, loving little doggie up and took it to the FD to show Scott.........well he wasn't very excited at first but she kinda grew on him. Over the next several days i was so worried she wouldn't eat, sleep, poop, pee or nothing!! Then all of a sudden she realized that the warranty had expired and she couldn't be returned so the horns came out!! She peed everywhere, poop was everywhere, oh and did she eat just so she could poop some more, then she became tempermental...she didn't want anyone in her space or touching her, and she didn't like kids! Maddie is almost 3 years old now and guess what NOTHING has changed!!! Scott is absolutely fed up with her! I wish i could find that little old man oh would i give him a piece of my mind!!

Needless to say being a Fireman's Wife there is never a dull moment.....Kinda like when Scott had his initiation at the 4Th of July party. He was told he had to dance for his initiation...he tried to get me to go with him but i knew better. They played something like Mustang Sally and he cranked his lawn mower and went to mowin!! We laughed so hard and for so long i thought we would have to be transported to the hospital...or the time he was going through EMT school and they got to the OB part of the class.......he came home every day green and i mean he was green if you have never seen someone truly turn green show him some of that stuff! Later on i went to EMT school and had to watch the same videos and i saw real quick why he was green. I had never been so embarrassed and grossed out.... YUCK they showed the nastiest deliveries ever! Don't get me wrong I'm a tough girl and i have been in the delivery room with at least 2 of my nieces that i remember so i don't turn color easily but OMG it was bad! If you don't believe me go to EMT school at Hinds CC with David Hall...you will see those same movies PROMISE!

Well have to save some excitement for later! Oh and be looking for a Blog I'm working on...Its gonna be great!!! Called The 5 of us: 2 walkers, 2 wheelchairs and a Cadillac!

Love ya Chole

Do you have a TESTY??

I'm a member at Briar Hill Baptist Church in Florence and we have discipleship training classes on Sunday nights at 5:00. My mother in law Lola is teaching one right now by Beth Moore called Loving Well. Mrs. Lola has a thing called Sand Paper people...this means you have people in your life that are different grades of sand paper and they rub you depending on the grade of there sand paper. Well in this study Beth Moore talks about 4 kinds of people in your life. 1 is the people who are a Joy in your life, 2 is the people who are your testy people in your life, 3 are your foes, and 4 is your fars. In the video Beth has 4 chairs sitting on the stage and on the backs of the chairs 1 of these 4 kinds of people is taped to the chair. She says picture the people in your life who are a Joy, Testy, Foe, or Far, and put them in those chairs. Sit them right up on the stage in your mind.

Well at the moment i kinda thought of a few people to place in certain chairs ya know my Husband, my Rachie, Mrs. Lola, several people at church they were in my Joy chair, my Foe chair i had my parents, some people i used to go to school with with that we fought all the time, my Far chair i couldn't really picture anyone there, BUT my Testy chair....OMG there are so many people in that chair they are fighting for the seat!! Testy people are the kinds of people whom they are all about them. The only time they stop to let you talk is if you are gonna talk about them, they know it all, have seen it all, have done it all, own two of everything, if they ask you a question its about them...get the picture its all about ME ME ME ME. Well i have some Testy people in my life, and I'm thinking like Beth i just need to put all my Testy people in one room and let them just kill each other. No i don't literally mean that although sometimes i want to injure my Testy people in my life. I just don't get how some people have to have the attention from everyone at every minute of every day!! I kinda just like to lay low. I guess I'm a watcher. I like to sit back and watch people, figure there personality out, get that first impression, analyze the way they stand, or if they talk with there hands, if they hold there mouth a certain way when they say things, or if they look you in the eye when they tell you things. I couldn't imagine having to have everything about me i think i would get bored with myself. I just wonder if people like Testy ever stop and think of how selfish they are. I would feel horrible.

Another thing that just erks me is when you are talking to someone even if its just simply telling them something that isn't important and you can be right smack in the middle of saying something and they cut you off and start talking about something that has absolutely nothing to do with what you are talking about but it sure does have something to do with them so they want to talk about it, or them talk you listen. I get so short and frustrated with this and then my whole day is ruined and its like OK come on Nichole be a big girl and just let it roll off. Its so hard to let things roll off though, but I'm told by so many people that i have a rotten attitude you would think i needed to start taking my own advice! Lets just turn this blog into a complaining session why not ya know its mine so i can do anything with it.

I know that i have absolutely no patience OK I'm not in denial i know that, but what people don't realize is that i have selective patience. What is that you ask??? Well SP is when i have patience with people that honestly just don't know, they try so hard but they just don't get it..that isn't there fault i know they cant help that so i try to go the extra mile for those people, but i do not have patience with people that do not in any way try...these are the people that they have something better to do than to just pay attention or learn or listen...these people erk me highly. So i know i don't have patience sometimes so everyone out there that thinks they need to have a Dr Phil sit down with me to tell me and others I'm not a patient person I KNOW OK and I'm not patient with you because your trying to point stuff out about me instead of worrying about yourself! I don't need Dr Phil or you to tell me what is wrong with me i can handle my own OK. Oooo i feel a little better after letting that out actually let me go on... So if your sitting at home right now reading my blog and you just got the smallest ink-ling of an idea i might be talking about you i just might be, so next time you think you need to tell me I'm a mean person, I'm short with you, i don't have patience, i have a temper, I'm always angry, I'm not tactful, or anything else that you would like to say negative about me maybe you should just say "ya know I'm here if you wanna talk, or hope your having a good day, or can i help you with anything, or love ya". I never knew this blog would be such a counseling session but it helps!Some people should stop and think before they speak, stop and look at the situation.

Just think before you start trying to tell someone how they should do things in there life, some people that try to tell others the things that they need to change would notice change needed in their lives if they stepped back and took a look. Ya know i asked a friend of mine yesterday to help me. I told her that i have got a problem stopping myself from saying curse words. She asked me what i attributed it to, and i told her i did it mostly if i was with certain friends and when i got mad. She told me to write down a verse she thoughts was from James "Be quick to hear, slow to speak , and slow to anger" that verse might be one that these people could take into consideration. Be slow to speak, and be quick to hear some people just need someone to listen they dont need advice. You might have the best advice for them but they just need you to be there, and be slow to point out all the bad things about them. Maybe you should tell them (me) something positive sometimes!
Love ya Chole

Whose a GRINCH????

OK so i married a man who despises Halloween! Don't get me wrong he got to trick or treat as a child but his family didn't like go all out ya know, and my family on the other hand even though we are dysfunctional we would all dress up! My Grandmother to this day dresses up as something different every year to pass candy out. I can even remember my Grandma taking me and my sisters to our Aunt Donna's house every year so that we could roll her yard! Ahh the good ole days!

I wanted so badly to find the coolest outfit this year and go trick er treat and maybe i could pull it off better if a had a child but i wanted to oh did i want to! Ya know i might not get very good attention being a 24 year old married woman dressed up and trick er treating!! Nah....I did go to church and we did what is called trunk or treat. Its where people decorated the trunks of there cars and passed out candy. All the little kids were dressed up and looked so cute. I took lots of pictures i have to post some later.

Afterwards i went home and ran into my Rachie and her crew they were so cute! I know it sounds weird saying kids are cute at Halloween when most of them are dressed as Dracula, and a bloody blob, but they were cute. Scott had to work for a little while and some of our friends that have children already were getting together and having some chili, and they invited us over. They had there little kids dressed so cute. Kylie Beth was a Fairy, Sarah Katherine was a Ballerina, Austin was a Pumpkin, and Kayne was a Pumpkin!! Oh they looked so CUTE!! We tried to take pictures of them all together for their first Halloween but it didn't work it was absolutely impossible to ask for cooperation from those 4!

The Grinch thing where does that fit in you ask?? Well my sister Amanda ask me if i was gonna be passing out candy and i told her NO i turn my porch light off and i still have little hellion kids knocking on my door! So she called me a Grinch....I know I know the Grinch stole Christmas not Halloween but what can i saw my sister is Blonde OK! Don't get me wrong when i EVER have kids i want to dress them up as little fireman and princesses and ladybugs and take them trick er treating (mainly cause i want that candy) and people better not turn them lights off for my kids! HA We will see how the Halloween thing goes when we have kids!! Who knows Scott may not want them dressing up? And if he doesn't i support his decision....he is the head of the household and God did say to submit to your hubby! I know how to get away with it though so little children of mine who aren't even thought of by you daddy don't worry mommy will take you trick er treating!

Hope everyone had a good safe night!
Love ya Chole......PS i know this post is like a lot late but i was busy OK i just had time to finish it!

Umpa Loompa!!!!!

Has anybody ever seen the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?? That is my sister Amanda's all time favorite show. We watched it over and over as a child. In the movie ( for those of you who were sheltered as children and didn't get to watch this) there are these big round short men that are orange and fat. They are called Umpa Loompa's, and i guess they are called that because in the movie they waddle around and sing umpa umpa doop a dee dee.... yadda yadda ya know. Well I feel like an Umpa Loompa!!! I know it's horrible. I feel like a short, fat, round, orange, man!! I joined Weight Watchers on 10/9/07, and get this by the scales they use which i feel like sometimes the little woman that is mean and makes me get on the scale and pay her 11 dollars a week puts her foot on the edge when i weigh. I just know she has to because i know i should have lost more than 6 pounds in almost a month!! That is horrible and i just know it has nothing to do with the fact that i ate a Baconator from Wendy's last Saturday, or that i went to El Rachito with my girl Rachel Friday night and i ate a whole bowl small one that is of cheese dip and i had a beef fajita quesadilla with rice, beans oh and the sour cream and the sweet tea, and then Saturday night i had Itchiban sushi, and egg drop soup, and egg rolls, and sweet tea, and that creamy cheesy crab thing, and well that's enough for that trip, then Sunday my family wants to go back to Itchiban and eat and i of course drank unsweet tea this time because my husband was there and i cant have him knowing how much food I've been enjoying on the side!! No way. Just like last night was Wednesday night and we Baptist like to eat at church BUT the cook we have makes the nastiest food! I wouldn't feed it to my dog in her death kennel OK!! So since i knew the food would be gross and i knew Scott wouldn't be there cause he went into work for a little while my car just over powered me and turned into Sonic and something inside of me made me order those cheese sticks and if that isn't bad enough it then made me get a Jr burger but i gained power quickly and got a diet coke to wash it down!! then like its a never ending cycle ya know. Some friends of ours called and invited us to see there kids dressed up for Halloween and they had Chili....but i did good i stayed away from the chili...but they hard corn dip!!! OMG i couldn't control myself it was like a never ending bowl of bliss and i just ate and ate and ate. I didn't even get a plate i stood over the bowl and dared anyone to stop me!! When i weighed in Tuesday night and i only lost 2 more lbs i vowed i would work so hard this week, that i would exercise and eat only within my points and i wouldn't eat things that were not healthy...but I'm doomed!! I will always be an Umpa Loompa i just know it!!!! How can you live with yourself when you look like a chewed up and spit out fat, round, orange, MAN!!! boo hissss grrrr. What does a girl do? As i sit here and think of all the decisions i made that were bad over the past several days i am all of a sudden encouraged to push on and try harder. I'll just sit here and eat my cranraisins and drink my water and hope the pounds just melt off!!! Love ya.. Chole