Worry or Trust

I was reading a Blog i usually read about everyday and in it the girl mentioned thanks to her mom for the comment she had made on a previous Blog entry. I never look at peoples comments but i just felt the urge to this time.

It said.............."Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6....her mom had then wrote " i get so busy worrying about whatever it is, i forget to sit and pray and be quiet about it. If I'm not quiet, i don't hear/feel the answer to the prayer. Sometimes the answer is not what you want, but usually in the long run, it is what you need. If you are a child of God, he will take care of you.""

I have had so many things just not right in my life here lately. Between my Mother and Father not speaking to me, stress at work, loneliness, issues with friends, and just feeling worthless. I have been a total mess, and its sad that i know that.

I went with my Mother in law and several other ladies from the church to Gulf Shores, Al this weekend to shop and just relax. My Momma Lola did the devotional on Friday night. In her lesson i just felt like it was geared toward me. It's amazing how some people can come up with a lesson from God's word and it steps all over you. She talked about standing still or following God's command. So many times i sit still and i don't even listen to follow a command, or i think i know what would be best and i make a decision and it's not what He has planned for me to do. I tell myself over and over and over so many times that I'm going to pray about the things that i have or need or problems or guidance, but i don't do it, or i do it once and expect the answer and then i don't hear it so i move on what i think is the right response.

I want so badly to be able to make sense of all the things going through my head and i just cant by myself, or with my friends. I need His help. That mom that wrote that scripture on her daughters Blog has the answer. I don't lay everything at the foot of the cross like i should. I have to be quiet and listen to hear His answer, but i also have to pray to Him for guidance and knowledge and wisdom and strength. I need to ask him for the answers to my problems and for the things i need. I just have to put that one foot in front of the other and make that step.

Sometimes we think its hard to talk to God, or if we talk to Him nothing we say will be heard or things we ask for wont be answered but so many times i think he does help, guide, answer and we just aren't quiet enough to hear what He is telling us to do.

I have this one friend who i desperately want to receive Christ and she made a small step but hasn't blinked an eye about it since then. In a way it discourages me because i sit and think "ya know I'm trying so hard to do something good, I'm trying to save her and her children but she just doesn't want to help herself." I don't know what to do anymore with her and people tell me don't give up on her, but i feel i waste my breathe with her cause she isn't gonna change her ways.

I'm going to pray for the strength, knowledge, wisdom, and courage to speak to God about my problems, to ask for help, to ask for things i want, to pray for forgiveness, strength, and help in my life everyday.

love Chole