Love em from a distance..............

Somebody once told me that some people you just have to love from a distance. Well i have someone in my life that i think it is gonna be best if i love from a distance! Sometimes i feel like the people i associate my self with hold me back spiritually......meaning they kinda put me in moods. I know you are responsible for your own actions but to a certain point people help influence those actions i think.



Lets just say for the sake of naming no names ........ i have someone in my life called Sammie. Well Sammie weighs me down, the outburst, the cursing, the name calling, the hollering, the moods, the temper, the outrage, the hatred......all of the above. I know your probably thinking how can one person be so negative but Sammie is. All my life its been one thing after another. I know im not the best person and i know i got into a lot of trouble growing up, but if God can forgive me for things i have done why cant Sammie, or if god can love me as his own why cant Sammie.



I just dont get it sometimes. I think about if i had someone in my life as close as Sammie and i should be i would love them unconditionally NO MATTER WHAT! If someone makes me mad or i just dont like there opinion i dont tell them i dont want to ever speak to them again. To make matters worse Sammie has made it out to everyone that im the one that made the decision not to speak to her on my own!



Jesus loves us no matter what. His love is unconditional and i dont understand why people cant love others like Jesus? So many times i can stumble and fall and He picks me right up brushes me off and send me back on my way. He fills my heart.



So many times as a child i can remember just wanting some attention and i wouldnt get it. When i did get it it was the bed attention getting hollered at, cursed at, spanked...all of the above because i would do something to get into trouble just to have someone spend 5 minutes with me even if it was negative attention any attention was better than none.....dont get me wrong im nbot trying to blame not feeling loved on the fact i did things wrong i am responsible for myself but it was influenced in one way or another.



I have 2 older sisters and the crazy thing is, is that they feel the same way! They just wanted to be loved, and the love just wasnt coming our way. Now that we are older we see that we have each other to fall on when we need an ear, or a shoulder to cry on. All the anger just builds up inside and its like a time bomb waiting to explode. A lot of people just dont understand that empty feeling you have inside even though you have other people that love you.....it makes you world go round to be loved by your parents or atleast i think it would!



I do have something i am happy about i have a wonderful husband who stands by me no matter what. He supports any decision i make and he loves me unconditionally. He parents also are a blessing they treat me no different from there own.....even when i get in trouble :-) The Lord knew what he was doing when he put Scott in my life. He knew Scott would help pick me up and stand me back on my feet. He helped me to find that one person that would always stand by me no matter what. I thank God for sending me such an angel to protect me.