PLEASE PRAY!!!

My VERY good friend Amy and her husband Brant Davis are expecting a beautiful baby girl (Addison). Amy was scheduled for a C-Section on April 23, 2008. During the night last night she started having contractions and has dialated. The hospital did an ultrasound this morning and Addison weighs 2lbs 3ozs. They are giving Amy steroid shots to try and make Addison's lungs as healthy as possible. Please pray for this young family, there 10 yr old daughter Abbey, 6 yr old son Brandon and unborn baby girl Addison. We all know the Lord works wonders and he is a mighty and powerful God and capable of anything.

Matthew 18:20 says " For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them."

Chole

Do you ever feel......

like you just spinning. I have had so much going on this wk and last wk. I have a HazMat Tech class i am taking for the next 2 wks every night including Saturday from 6 pm - 11pm. talk about tired. Then to add to it my Medical Assisting license is about to expire so i have been wroking on renewing it by taking self study courses. Ughh. I had to take off work yesterday just to finish the test's. Amongst all this stress i just knew i was going to gain from Monday but i havent thank God! I havent had time to exercise or really get my water in. But im down to *84.4 this morning.

Finally below *85. Makes me feel like i have accomplished something. Thats down a total of 17 pounds since Christmas. Now if i can just continue to lose and keep it off. I think the maintaining the weight loss is the hardest part. I know i can eat one thing wrong and i yo yo up and down on my weight. I ate some red beans and rice one night last week and the next morning i had gained 2 pounds. I was like OMG how can i gain 2 by eating 1/2 small bowl of red beans. But i did. Last night i had 2 slices of cheese pizza and i just knew i was going to weigh this morning and have gained but i didnt.

I hope you all did well with the weigh in. I cant wait to have time to read every one's blog's from this week.
Chole

Weigh-In #3

Well I am down 2 more #'s. I'm excited because this is the first time i have ever been able to accomplish weight loss. For so many years i have tried diet after diet to get the weight off and i just cant do it. But not now. I am so glad i have the wonderful support system i do. All of ya'll on this challenge have helped me so very much. I know for a fact with out ya'll i would not have lost the weight i have.

I can remember before my wedding in 2005 i joined weight watchers hoping to shed some pounds before the big day. Well when i joined i was heavy but not as heavy as i am now. December 2007 i was the heaviest i have EVER been. Today January 2008 i am between what i was in 2005 and Christmas 2007. I am so close to being the weight i was before i got married. It's actually kinda weird how every time i want to cheat i think about having to blog about it. I dont want to have to blog about a gain or cheating or giving in to a temptation. I like blogging about positive things. Hopefully this time next Monday i can weigh in under an *85. I would love that.

I hope and pray all of you did well this week. I did ok. I really should have exercised more, but thats where this week comes into play i can improve for next week.
Love to all
Chole

The "I LOVE ME" list........

Ok so i was reading Krissie's blog and i saw THE LIST! I am one of those people whom have been down on thereselves. i have just been so bumed because i just cant shake the weight this week. I have been so disapointed because i feel like i have so many people to not let down.

By the way i looked up the sopapilla thing i ate yesterday.........1290 calories just for the 3" piece of bread with some sugar and honey on it! Never again will i venture into sopapila land.

So here goes nothing let me see if i can be positive about myself.

1. What do you absolutely love about your body?
I have very pretty eyes i think, and beautiful thick hair, oh and big boobies....thats always a plus!

2. When did you surprise yourself with your physical strength?
Playing softball for the church couple of years ago. I have actually been asked to play this year!

3. When were you braver than you ever thought you could be?
When i moved out and got my own place. I am so afraid of every noise the house makes but i just tell myself God will protect me.

4. When did your self-control blow you away?
When a girl i work with tried to get me to eat a brownie (probably would have been better than the sopapila), and when my husband and i went to a steak house i wanted a baked potato and instead i got steamed veggies.

5. What is your proudest moment ever?
The day i married my best friend. I didnt think we would ever get married and i was so excited to get to spend the rest of my life with him. It's amazing how you can love someone so much.

6. When was the last time you felt absolutely beautiful?
Ummm. My wedding day, and that was 3 years ago almost. I felt like a princess. It was scary to have all eyes on you, but i felt like i was beautiful and everyone was just in awe at how well i cleaned up!

7. Why do you deserve to meet your goals?
Because i dont deserve to be unhealthy. I want to be able to go outside with my kids one day and take a walk or run around a playground chasing them. I dont want to be like my mom and be so overweight i cant do anything with my kids. But the difference in her and i is im going to do everything in my power to change the way i am living so that i dont turn out like that. I want to be able to put on a swim suit and go to the beach and not be afraid of people looking at me. I want them to look at me because i look good. I want to be comfortable with my husband touching me and not worry about him touching me and being grossed out by my weight. I deserve to be a healthy beautiful woman just like all my blogger friends do.

Thanks for asking these questions Krissie. Just in answering the questions i have realized why i need and want this so bad. I dont know what i would do without all of your support.
Chole

Why do i always do this........

it never fails i always disapoint myself. We had lunch brought in today from a Mexican restraunt at work. Well i thought i did good eating just lettuce, cheese, salsa, beef strips, some rice, guacamole, a a small bit of sour cream.............well i after i ate i went and got me a sopapilla ya know the little braed thing with honey on it and butter. OMG i am so mad at myself. I wish i could take it back now. I should have thought about it for a split second longer and i could have talked myself out of it.

Now i know i will get on the scale and have gained.

Just call me Cinderella!

Guess what?????????? I just got the news from my Office Manager that......................................................................i can take off in May and go to DISNEY!!!!!!!!! Yeah. I am so excited. My sister invited me on her family vacation with her and her husband and children. We will spend 3 days at Universal Studios and 1 day at Magic Kingdom. I can not wait. Plus i will be atleast 50lb's lighter by then I HOPE!! Well let me just be realistic if i could be down by then i would be extatic. Makes me want to try even harderto lose this weight. Oh i am so excited. I feel bad i will be leaving my husband for that long but he isnt into the theme park thing. Me on the other hand oh baby bring it on. I love it. We will leave on the 21st and come home on the 26th.

My sister has been losing weight also and she has lost like 10 pounds already. She said she just doesnt want to have to ask for a belt extender for the rides. Me either!!
Tonight is my WW weigh in. Hope everyone is doing ok so far this week. Good luck to all.

Chole

Weigh in #2

Well today is the official 2nd weigh in for the Easter Challenge. I hope all of you did well. Im shocked at the weight loss i have had during these past 2wks but i am happy as well. Thank you so much for your encouragements. It means so much to know i have people supporting me as i am supporting them and we are all so far apart.

Well for the big news......................scale said.............................good stuff!!!!!!!! Yahoo. I am so excited. I was a little discouraged because i know i could have made some better choices this weekend and my loss would have been more. Oh Well gotta save some excitement for next week huh? I promised myself i would not go back above 290!

Keep up the good work girls and i will post more later.
Chole

Are you Courageous and Determined?

As i sit and think about the past 2 wks i feel like i have accomplished something great in my life. So many times people who are obese (including myself) feel as though we have no self worth. For many years i have tried dieting. I never would stick to one for long but i can say i have pretty much tried it all (Weight Watchers, South Beach, Atkins, Cabbage Soup diet, Slim Fast, You on a Diet, Vegetable Soup Diet, all kinds of diet pills, and drinks). After several attempts and multiple failures i had come to conclusion "I was meant to be this way". But that isn't true!

Last Sunday while our Pastor Kevin was preaching he started talking about the kinds of New Years Resolutions people make: get in shape, clean the house, eat healthy, take a walk every day, plant a flower bed, save some money, and the most popular LOSE WEIGHT! I wanted to shrink down very small and crawl under the pew. I thought "he is so talking to me! who told him my resolutions??" He actually made a wonderful point. He said so many people fall into thinking that they can drink the shake, take this pill, or eat this meal everyday and they will lose the weight. That's it, it's that simple. Right? Wrong!! You have to have determination, self discipline, courage, will power, faith, hope, and except the fact that you can make a change.

I did some research and found some verses on courage in the Bible that i thought were very encouraging. I hope you feel the same:

Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you where ever you go."
Joshua 10:25 Joshua talking to the people: "....do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous. This is what the Lord will do to all the enemies you are going to fight."

I know these 3 verses basically say the same thing but it's the point that God tells us so many times in the Bible to be courageous. Stand up for ourselves. So many times we don't do that. When i read these verses i thought my obesity is my enemy! IF i have the courage to fight i can win and lose the weight.

Some really good quotes on determination:
"Every accomplishment starts with a decision to try" - Author Unknown
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" - Winston Churchill

Deep huh?
Over the past few days i have thought a lot about my self worth. Is it worth trying to lose weight? Is it worth me wanting to be healthy? Is it worth it to try and be attractive? Of Course it is. I am worth every bit of it and so are you. This might sound so ridiculous but i weigh each and every day...sometimes 4 times a day! Yeah i know ridiculous. But my point is each and every time i get on the scale and i see that i have made progress i feel like i have accomplished something so great and i have. For years i have tried dieting, most of the time not longer than a couple of weeks, but this time it feels different. This time i feel determined, disciplined, courageous, and powerful. This time i feel like I'm going to be able to make a dream of losing this weight a reality.

When i got on the scale this morning before work i weighed ***. I cant tell you the last time i was under that weight. When i got on that scale i screamed. I had to get off and get back on a few times. Heck i even got my old scale back out and weighed on it to compare. When it finally soaked in that the scale wasn't lieing to me i looked in the mirror and told myself "you will NEVER weigh over that again" and i wont. I don't care what i have to do i will not gain and weigh over that again. This whole time i have been saying "please just let me get below this and get away from that nasty bad weight" now i have a new goal....i want to get below *** and i CAN do it and i WILL do it!

The exercise i think is helping so much. Yesterday i walked my mile at work with Rachel and last night after i went to a dinner i came home and before i would let myself get in the bed i walked 2 more miles. Go me!! Ya hoo. My big sister Melanie is trying to lose weight also and she is down several pounds. Her determination is we are going to Disney in May and she doesn't want to have to get a seat belt extender for any rides! Me either! But we can do it i know we can and i pray that we all have the courage to stand up and fight against our obesity. We can and will change our lives.

Hope i haven't rambled too terribly much. Love to all......Chole

White T-Shirt??? NO NO NO!!!!

Ok, i know this isn't about weight loss but i just know everyone will love it!

I graduated high school in 2000. 1 year earlier than i should have. I went on and started college right away. I thought the sooner i get in the sooner i get out. As most of you already know Chole is a BIG girl! In high school i was called Double D (for the big ta-ta's), The Giant, Suedo Girl, Good Year Blimp.....you name i got called it. I eventually learned how to just laugh at myself about it and it was OK. I'm glad i learned to just have a good laugh otherwise I'd be in some serious counseling sessions right now!

My first day of college i tried so hard to look good. Have my hair just right, wear the right shirt, the jeans that made my butt look the least large, the perfect shoes. Everything. And as most of you know i am not a girlie girl by far. I'm a Firefighter, EMT, i love to hunt, fish, go 4-wheeler riding, ride horse, work on cars, be outside, i skin my own deer, and i love just wearing my hair in a pony tail with my favorite pair of old jeans or jogging pant and an old t-shirt with some flip flops. But this day was important. I was the underdog. I was the youngest person in probably all of my classes.

So i found this really sexy low cut white top at Lane Bryant. Loved it!! I went in that day people talked, i made some friends, ate lunch with them, and afterwards headed to work. Well on the way to work i rolled the windows down to just get some fresh air. It was really hot and i was perspiration badly! In a midst of driving, and singing to the radio i kinda felt awkward for some reason. I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong but i knew something wasn't right. Now remember like i said I'm moderately obese, and have ta-ta's as big as Texas!

Low and behold guess what though??????? Chole didn't have her Bra on! No sir i sure didn't. I sat all day in classes, making friends most of whom were guys, went to lunch, and headed to work at 4:00 in the afternoon i FINALLY REALIZE I AINT GOT MY DADGUM BRA ON!!! OMG how much more embarrassing can life get. I didn't even want to go back to class the next day. I just knew someone had to have seen them. I mean how can you not notice some big ole girl with triple D's hangin past her belly button and probably outside my cute little white shirt!! Well i never wore the shirt again girls i thought maybe it was trying to tell me something like .... uhh big girls don't need to wear stuff like that!

Well i feel better knowing you are all at home or work right now laughing you booties off about to fall out of the chair or off the bed thinking OMG this poor girl! or OMG she is scarred for life. Yeah I know laugh it up girls!!

Ta-Ta's for now!!
Love Chole

P.S. By the way checking the ta-ta's to make sure they are secured before i leave the house is on my list every morning!

Down.....Down.....Down.....

Im getting kinda excited and probably shouldnt and i know i shouldnt tell this until Monday but the scale says i am 3 lbs lighter this am!! I am so excited. When i see a change in the number it makes me want to try harder today and tomorrow. I sure my new scale isnt lieing! That would totally pee pee me off. Last nigh i went to WW and before Christmas i was heaviest last night 6 pounds lighter by there scale. But you weigh more at night then you do in the morning. This morning even less. I would be so excited to just get below *** then i feel like it would be a down hill slop for me.

My big sister has invited me to go woth her and her family to Disney, and Universal this May. I hope i can atleast be 50 pounds lighter by then so i can fit better in some of the rides. Last summer i went and it was a tight squeeze in some and some i couldnt even squeeze in! I thought my rear was gonna fly off the ET ride in the middle of it!

I dont know if any of you do this but i have been hiding my weight from my husband. Last night i was trying to tell him how much i had lost since i started WW and i was like well 4 lbs from when i joined but 6 lbs from before Christmas because i had gained weight and weighed more than when i started in October. It was so confusing to him i was finally like look Scott when i get comfortable with my weight i will tell you how much i weigh ok. It kinda embarassing having all of you know how much i weigh.

I really want to post a before picture from Christmas when i was heaviest then every 20 or so pounds do a new picture. Encouragement for me anyways. My best friend ever Rachel is joining the Challenge. She emailed Shannon her weight Monday. Im so glad i have someone close to me to help. Oh and my mom in law momma Lola joined WW last night. Thanks God!!!!! Now she can back me up with the healthy eating. Last night after WW it was late and i didnt feel like cooking so i went to this place called Catfish One i got my hubby a Seafood Platter with everything..me i got boiled shrimp. It came with 4 very small boiled potatoes, 3 hushpuppies, and about 4 oz coleslaw. I ate my entire plate and was full but i still had 5 or 6 fried dill pickles..yikes..... i know i know.

Hope everyone does well this week. Keep up the good work.
Chole

You go girl!!!

So this exercise thing really isnt that bad. If you call what im doin exercise. I have been walking 1 mile a day. Last night i did my walk away the pounds 1 mile tape and at work during my lunch i eat quickly then go to walkin. Im kinda proud of myself.

Tonight is WW weigh in. I'll let you all know how that goes. When i weighed in last it wasnt good! But thats ok. Today when i was walking i ran into my big sister.....well she is older but much much smaller! She was so excited to see me exercising she almost fell out in the tunnell.

I really want to do this and im going to. I keep ready things in magazines and books, and on the internet about how people have lost 50, 75, 90, 150 lbs and it makes me feel like i have a chance. But then again i know you cant believe everything you read! I know i have it in me...i really do want to see myself accomplish something so extreme. If i could lose 50 lbs at this point i would be beside myself.

I have such a great encouragement......Amy a friend i work with keeps telling me she knows i can do it and to keep going. She reminds me are you drinking water, dont forget to walk. I really do appreciate how much she cares about me and my health. I have some great friends. Between her, Cass, and Rachie i dont know what i would do if i didnt have them.

I didnt eat breakfast and i know i should have! For lunch i had a turkey sandwich on wheat with mayo, 100 cal snack crackers, and some lettuce and cucumbers with italian dressing, oh and a string cheese. I dont think im gonna have anything else today until after the weigh in tonight! Ive gotten 40 oz of water down so far...im workin on 60.

NSV for the day....my friend was eatin chicken tetrazinni from the hospital and she can because she is pregnant my little adopted niece needs all the food she can get! Oh but i wanted some soooooo bad i sat and thought and thought... i wanted to go get me some of that instead of my bland food. But girls thank the Lord i had discipline!! I didnt i ate my little sandwich and veggies instead go Chole! Yahoo.

2 lbs....

Ok.....so i'm not in the best mood although Chubby Chick made it so much better!! I only lost 2 lbs this week. Maybe my husband coming back from his huntong trip and wanting to go eat at the Mexican restraunt and me eating lots of chips, cheese dip, salsa, rice, beans, and a beef fajita quesadilla with sour cream had something to do with the only 2 lb loss. Oh well next Monday will be so much better.

I didnt exercise but 2 days and i walked a mile both of those days. Today i am going to walk another mile after lunch and tonight i am going to my walking tape. I dont care what else i have to do im walking that tape tonight. I would walk around the neighborhood and i might make my husband do that tonight!! Quality time.....i'm sure he will love it! Ha funny.

Tonight i think i'm gonna cook some chicken breast and have veggies and maybe a salad.

Well i hope everyone did well this past week. Congrats to all who lost and if anybody didn't lose its ok just means you will lose more next week.

Steppin it up.......

Well i did it again girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WALKED ANOTHER MILE! Ya hooooooo. I am so proud of myself. I know some of you are like "i cant believe this girl she is so excited over 1 mile i walked 5".....but i have never been able to do this. OMG i am so excited. Everytime i do something good like exercise or make a good food choice i am so happy for me because its day 2 and i never make it past 1 to 2.

When i got back from walking there was the biggest, moist, chocolate, creamy, delicious (looking), wonderful BROWNIE on my desk! OH NO!!!!!!!!!! I hollered who put this on my desk and the girl in the office next to me said "i did" I picked it up and took it in her office and said I CANT EAT THIS! I have to lose 125lbs! She was beside herself. She was like it will be ok just eat it, it's just 1.........NONONONONONONO. I took it to my boss and she ate it. Whooooooo i was about to die!
Yay me.

Day 2

Today is another day girls! I got my digital scale last night. Hope it's nice to me! I weighed in this morning and weighed exactly the same as the other day. Cant expect change in 1 day of eating good though. Plus my little monthly friend is visiting me right now so that has to make me weigh at least 2lbs more than usual! Ha yeah right huh?

I had my Curves cereal, raisins, and skim milk for breakfast this morning.
So far i have downed 33.8 oz of water and i'm filling her back up!
I brought another turkey on wheat sandwich for lunch.
Apple to snack, 100 cal pack of oreos, 100 cal pack of chips ahoy candy!!!, and 100 cal pack of crackers to eat with a string cheese.

I found the coolest snack last night at Wal-Mart!!!!! 100 cal pack Chips ahoy candy bites. They are candy covered cookie balls........and are they good OMG!!!! I ate a pack last night with some skim milk.

I am planning on walking my mile again today! I'll let ya know how it goes.

Exercise the fatties!!!!

Guess what...................i just walked a MILE! I am not kidding i just walked a complete mile. I am so proud of myself and so excited i can say i walked a mile. I ate my healthy little turkey on wheat sandwhich and marched my big ole booty over and walked the tunnel 1 WHOLE MILE! Yah hoo for Chole!........and i'm still gonna do my walking tape tonight!

My New Year's Resolution!!!

I've never really made a Resolution before and i decided to make some this year!
Figured i better post them since today is the 2nd of January!

1. Lose weight. I would like to lose at least 100lbs and up to 125lbs. Maintain it and Exercise daily over the next year.
2. Eat Healthy and make healthy choices when eating out. Ask for a to-go box and put 1/2 of the food away before i start eating. Order less red meat. Eat more veggies. Lite dressing on salads.
3. Get my house organized.

That's not much! And i can do it. I will pray that the Lord will give me the strength and He will guide me to accomplish my goals.

I'll keep ya on a Monthly update of how it goes with the Organization!

Day1

I'm counting today as my Day1 because i didn't do great yesterday. I had to eat black eyed peas, cabage, and pork because it was the 1st and my family says you will have bad luck ALL YEAR LONG if you dont eat those things. Then last night i was depressed and ate Chetohs! Yes i know bad Nichole.

Well today is a new day for the begining of the new me! Im excited. You guys have no clue how much it has helped just seeing that people care and they are leaving me comments. It makes me feel like i have friends that i can count on for support. Thanks ya'll. I wont let us down!

This morning for breakfast i had Curves cereal and skim milk with some raisins.
Snack handful of baby carrots.
Lunch turkey sandwich on wheat, 100 cal snack pack, grapes.
Snack apple.
Supper i think i'm gonna have a grilled chicken salad.
Snack i bought a WW ice cream bar ummm.
Im gonna drink atleast 64oz water today.
When i get home i'm gonna do my 2mile walk video. (its so cold out to walk)

I guess tomorrow i'll let ya'll know if i stuck to it! I just want to get on the scale Monday and see some change i think that will be a huge motivator. I go to my WW meeting Tuesday night and i want to make Mrs. Case proud and show her i can lose. I joined WW October 9, 2007. I went to the OB for my yearly check up and when i weighed 300lbs she was like "Nichole you will never get pregnant if you do not get to a healthy weight" So i was so upset i want a baby so badly i long to be a Mother and a better one than i have. So that night on my way home i remembered WW meets at the Methodist Church in town. I went in and joined! I did good the 1st week lost 4lbs, the next week i maintained and over the next several wks i lost a total of 11lbs but i gained it all and then some. I lost all hope after gaining it all back everytimne i weighed in i was gaining. My sister tryed to keep me motivated but i just kept eating.

I'm going tonight to buy a digital scale. My scale at home says i weigh lots! but this am at work i weighed on a digital one and it was baaddd. uggghhh, but i'm not going to get discouraged maybe the scale isnt right. I'm just gonna go buy me a digital one and only weigh on it and the WW scale.

Easter Challenge

Well. I joined Shannon's Easter Challenge. I'm excited but i have NO faith in myself EVER. I tell myself i WILL NOT be able to lose weight especially 125lbs!! I know i know 125!! I want to lose that over the next year. I can do it or some of it i think. I really do want to be healthy so badly but i have no confidence. HELP!!!!!!! My husband is NO help either. I went to the grocery the other day to buy stuff for starting hard and heavy on the Easter Challenge and Scott was like "I cant eat anything in that buggy, there isn't any snacks, blah, blah, blah" I'm not gonna give up though. He is going out of town for a week hunting and i hope over the next week i can at least lose 4lbs. I CAN DO IT!

I just want to be normal. I have so many friends that are smaller and i don't want to be skinny but i just don't want a nasty stomach and fat thighs and big arms. I just want to be able to wear cute clothes and feel attractive. BUT i get frustrated and i eat. Just like a little while ago my husband aggravated me and i ate Cheetos! What am i doing to myself. Ugggghhh.

Tomorrow is another day and i CAN do better and i WILL do better. I can be strong. I can be beautiful. I can feel good about myself and I WILL!